Let’s be very very clear….Ego loooooves to rebuild itself. When we find a place of peace and love, the ego - with the mind in tow - will take every opportunity to drag you back into your fear. It believes its job is to keep you safe, and so it can’t allow you to let go of those tensions, fears and anger because then your guard will be down and you will be eaten by bears when you least expect it.
Knowing that we have a force within us that is literally devoted to keeping us in our own shit, what can we do to keep that force at bay and continue to capitalize on the work we did when we were on retreat?
Hopefully, on the retreat, we have taken our observational skills to the next level and can see a few more things within us that we had missed before. We can see where a fear program arises, and we can see the anger button that goes off that is really not about the present moment. We can see that we have been caught in dramas that really do nothing but defend their own existence and keep us believing they are important or real. Our job after the retreat is to continue to keep these in focus and to keep bringing these into silence.
What does that mean? Merely by understanding and being aware of a program - a feedback loop - that we no longer want, we begin to de-activate it. When we, for example, now see that we have been defensive, the next time we are defensive we are better equipped to see it for what it is: an old program, not the truth. When we have a better focus on how these old programs look and feel, we have more courage to be kind to ourselves when they do show up unexpectedly. We also gain more courage to begin to step away from our own drama, to gradually, slowly and gently, disengage ourselves from the mind/ego’s agenda.
But we also need reminders otherwise, the mind will continue to try to engage you. We need to keep meditating. Hence why 2x a day is optimal. We need to find places to check in, remind us of what we are really about, what is real, what is not. Being mindful of the agendas of the mind and ego so that we can continue to create healthy distance. Finding other people to meditate with. Finding a good therapist that can assist you in seeing and breaking down these old feedback loops and keeping the new learning and healing going. Finding good groups to discuss and bring into perspective this difficult but magnificent journey of life and living. And being good to yourself. Treating yourself with the love and compassion that fear and rage do not want you to have, is the most important pillar in this evolutionary journey.
